Today, I would like to bring to your attention the magazine called "The Chap". 

Thereafter an article from it, scanned and posted.

 At first sight, "The Chap" is appealing to the devotees of vintage, and the cover says: 'journal for modern gentelmen' Hovewer, this magazine proves itself  to be a pleasurable read for wider audience of both sexes.
 Recently, I've possessed two issues of it, and had a good time reading them.

The articles are written in a witty manner and cultured language. Apart from divers entertaining as well as compelling subjects, one might find enjoyable ads and stickers.

Here is the official site of "The Chap" and a Manifesto:
Www.TheChap.net

For Your Eyes

This post contains links to chans,  sites which may contain age restricted material, and prim-and-proper restricted material. Apart from that, nothing unreasonable.

This post is not about Malmo, but dedicated to a beautiful random picturery given to us by Imageboards, aka Chans (short for channels).

You may check this thread out.

In Tumblr age, old school ImageBoards may attract less attention, but, from my opinion, they are a wonderful phenomenon and worth exploring.

 As  http://zombanie.tumblr.com/ puts it: "too much shit goes unappreciated."

 The most famous chan, that you might have heard about, is a well respected 4chan.org. 4chan is a great source of images,

 Images are posted by the subject, and then, by a thread. For example / a/  for Anime&Manga, and thread of people on the train.

Unfortunately search on 4chan is not tag based which I find quite maddening.

 Design is old-school, as internet veterans and hackers prefer, but pardon my arrogance, is a bit lame. Freaking hackers, I'd say.
 Nevertheless, it is the content which matters the most.

Apart from posting pictures and comments, 4chan participants are famous for various internet activities, such as making the word gorillapenis trend worldwide on twitter.

    Founders of 4chan are also believed to have a connection with hacktivist groups, to conduct anti-brainwashing activities and be at the rescue of the indoctrinated.

   This hacktivist twang, may be a reason why chans are often regarded as a copyright disaster.
   My favorite ImageBoard is gelbooru.com.
Search is based on tags, which makes it clear and easy to find whatever image you wish, unlike 4chan, that I cant entirely get my head around of. Definitely have a look at gelbooru, try out the tag 'scenery'.

Gelbooru has a fine collection of beautiful images, but also some age restricted material of the most awkward kinds.

 Using tags, one can easily find anything matching the weirdest dream. I suppose, coming across a comic strip depicting a sexual intercourse with a two-tail fox-like Kitsune spirit may please some, but will appear unwelcoming to others.

 Hovewer, amongst seldom wank-enhancing material, I often found, superb pornfree pix appropriate for profile pictures, mail conversation between generations, or just the innocent recreational observation.

A drink with very Low Hangover Index. 
Öresunds Breeze. 

Recommended for it's low hangover index, or whatever it's called.
 I mean, I got plastered on it recently, and woke up the next day with no hangover at all.
I'm sure it was a next day, not two days later, I've checked the calendar.



It contains Mango Absolut 50ml (unflavored Absolut will do, it' just we had a mango one, unflavored probably better)
Limes and Lemons (like a halflime per drink and a big slice of lemon)
White Grapefruit Juice (about 200ml)
Sprite (50ml) and
Frozen Lingonberries. Handfull will do.


I dont think you can abuse with lingonberries, and if you've hurled too much of them, just skip the lemon.



Hurl lingonberries in a highball glass, (Any other glass will do, as long as it is not martini glass coz its tiny and looks weird)
 You may smash some of them lingonberries with a spoon, but leave some unsmashed too.
Fill the glass with ice cubes, pour 50ml of vodka in, throw lemons and place limes in there, add juice and finish with a dash of sprite to give it a bit of fizziness without using a shaker, which is a hassle unless you are payed for it.
 Stir little bit, so unsmashed lingonberries start floating between icecubes.

And it turns out all nice and refreshing drink, no surprise.
Here comes my point: we had no hangover after drinking loads of it. In all fairness, yes, we did get pretty wasted on these freaking Oresund's Breezes

Oresund's Breeze  Low Hangover Index explained scientifically (but shortly)

 Further research on the nature of hangovers explained the magic of hangoverfree Sunday. Let me introduce tree pillars hangover stands on
 In brief, alcohol causes a high vitamin expenditure by your body. The most depleted vitamins are A, of group B and Vitamin C. Anxiety, dizziness and disorientation occurring in the morn, owe partly to the lack of vitamins, not by the alcohol itself.
 Lingonberry, it turns out, has all of them vitamins, and works better then a vitamin tablet, because they better absorbed from the berry than from the tab. Grapefruit also contains fair amount of vitamins of the required groups.

Another major contributor to hangover is, dehydration, so 250ml of non fizzy juice per every shot of booze does the trick.
The third is the alcohol itself, or more precisely, impurities in it. Admiringly distilled Swedish vodka will have less impurities than a dubious rocket fuel that you may get served in a club or, actually, any brown spirit of decent quality.



Please notice, that forementioned brands did not provide the author with money or free merchandise. Neither did swedish lingonberry farmers and pickers, producers of limes, lemons, grapefruits, highball glasses and icecubes.

This drink been spontaneously invented and mixed in Malmo, and for the slight resemblance to Sea Breeze with vodka and cranberries, I would call it Oresunds Breeze.

Djinn Wears Vintage
Moorish Pavilion in Malmö



The mystery of that building (see picture) which looks like Alladin's relinquished residence, finally got solved for me yesterday.
 Wandering around the hood during the winter, I was thinking what is in it, and then never remembered to properly google it. You probably know this  "shit, what did I want to look up on the internet?" feeling.

In Möllan, I was told about the housewarming party in Moorish Pavilion, so there I relocated myself.

Moriska Paviljongen has three indoor areas.
One to the left, is so well provided with discolights, it is apparently, a Nest of disco-lights or a Ministry. (If you like disco lihgts, you will like it there).
 We proceeded to the first bar, lots or air, house/electro played and some people danced. Mirrors on the walls of all shapes and sizes, framed in flowery nostalgic sort of stuff of golden colour made me think of Benjamenta Insitute. There is also a terrassy space for quieter conversations.

Just couple of days before the first party we took a picture on which Moorish Pavilion can be seen. At the time we did't know what's in it and that there will be a new place for partying.

Another room, to the right, smaller and more whiney than cocktailish attitude.
 Music was a journey into olden days, and people danced with a knowledge and accordingly to each era. Vintage.
 By 3PM everyone danced so nicely, smiled and looked satisfied that I thought 'were they all payed for being here, after all?' Only few and far between bored looking people were able to be seen in the cellar, on the way to the facilities, so I thought 'are all the uninspired ones have been put into the cellar by the restroom, purposely, to keep better vibe upstairs?'

The middle room is a proper concert place, apparently constructed as a cinema sale. More nightclubbish atmosphere compare to the touching 'The Cherry Orchard' twang of both side areas.
 Together with general coziness, the place still keeps a bit of a sentimental mood of the past, probably from days it was built in 1902. What was Malmo like in those days? Before the first human get to the orbit of our Earth, before iPhone 4 came out... awh, those walks to Folkets Park then, awh.

Get back to present time, Moorish Pavilion.

To make  a long story short, Malmo Buzz and Malmo Pride were here.
People were beautiful, dressed in a pleasant manner, but in a non dramatizing way.


http://www.moriskapaviljongen.se

 Malmo Buzz Described Shortly


Since I moved to Malmo, I keet noticing one particular quite enjoyable feeling about this place, and I still do. It is a feeling of that here, everything which is interesting really matters and not taken for granted.  So far I found two terms for it  "Malmo Pride" and "Malmo Buzz".

The word 'pride' , you know, means all sort of good and bad things, but what I mean by it, is positive and exuberant stuff, a bit like Gay Pride.
  Malmo resembles a countryside teen, who is very pleased to move to the city, and thrilled by all things urban. You know, those people who appreciate urban life and culture so much, that become better at it, than native townies. This is a Buzz.

As I mentioned in a previous post, Malmo use to be considered  a little bit "uncool", though famous for it's industry and canadian geese.

During that time, Stockholm and Goteborg, at all the rage cool cities, deemed Malmo to be culturally wretched and untrendy. Such a despiriting, but not groundless, critique was compensated by viewing Malmo as twee and unpretentious, and Skane as a bread-basket of Sweden, cozy, but still utterly dreary.

   Then dull times changed. The Oresunds bridge was built, and Malmo was no longer in the bum of Sweden, but close to a foreign capital. Suddenly connected to Copenhagen, Malmo started thriving, in a same way as hanging out with enlightened person shakes you into a mood inspired, and, without being a copycat, you develop your own qualities in a right way.

I feel that Malmo is a right place to be.

I think, this cultural fix-up is still in progress, and it is where my Malmo Pride hunch comes from.
Owing to previous dull reputation, Malmo even more eagerly looks forward into what is going to happen and does it's best to make it happen. Interesting events matter and people genuinely appreciate them, even though abundant Copenhagen is round the corner.


Signs of a Malmo Buzz, also come about as pieces of urban design. New tokens contrasted with cheesy stuff of uncool days, and all together it looks quite unusual, weird and dreamlike. I'll write about the design outcomes of a Malmo Pride and Buzz more precisely in one of the following posts..

Malmo Auto Pilot

short anti-tourist guide and map

Why?

Malmo is easily accessible by train from Copenhagen, trains go every half an hour.

First of all, food is cheaper and better than in Copenhagen. Taxis are cheaper as well, and even though booze in swedish shops is more expensive it still works out cheaper to go on the piss in Malmo. On top of that Malmo is strange and cozy.

This post contains short info useful for an authentic night out in Malmo.

Instead of getting out at the Malmo Central Station (Malmo C) as an average tourist would do, step off at Triangeln and start exploring Malmo from there. Please see the map in the end of this post. It is specialy designed for you.

 From Triangeln you may proceed to Mollevangstorget where many decent drinking and eating establishments are located. Amongst all of them the best one to eat would be Mollan with friendly staff (you can ask them about furter going outs), reasonable prices and good food as well as a cozy atmosphere.

Belle Epoque - good food, a bit posher than Mollan. Jetz Bar next doors - Berlin Style Vodka Bar. Smart music. Say hello to Jens - he is a crazy mixilogist! Try out anything he recommends with herbs and berries: and there will be no hangover the next day. I am serious.

Next noteworthy place to stop is Metro, which is renowned for it's DJ's.
Metro is homelike.

 Situated in front of Metro, indian restaurant Sapla is here not for indian food, but for cheaper booze. One may drop by for a quick budget drink and run back into tidy hipsterfriendly Metro.

 After that you may also go to Debaser - free entry before 10PM. There's a a tiny round square with sound&light design on the way, one of the sample of Malmoe's cute pride and dignity.

Turn left, follow the wall with graffity and here's Debaser 

http://www.debaser.se/

 There are good bands playing from time to time. If you smoke, you will enjoy the terrace with a view on Folkets Park and a great big rose freaking flower. Otherwise Debaser can be quite lame for a long stay, so after few drinks you can also totter to the club called Babel http://babelmalmo.se/ It is 2 minutes walk from Debaser.

A relevant stopover for those who appreciate beer would be På Besok which has an extensive selection of it at a moderate price. På Besok is sort of a hand-me-down arty place with East Berlin hint, youthful slightly left-wing comradely clientele, mysterious art exhibitions and odd events. It is by no means a tourist trap and I would, with no doubt, recommend it.

Another curious venue in the area is a club "Kontrapunkt". To be able to go inside the online registration is needed. 

http://kontrapunktmalmo.net/members/register.php

 Inspite of having an innuendo of illegality Kontrapunkt is a sane establishment with nothing dodgy going on, so I suppose, the registration part exists for making customers feel special and for tax reasons.

Check Kontrapunkt online as the theme of events there is utterly unpredictable.

map

Please notice that aforementionned places did not provide the author with any goods, cash or free booze, but were selected for this post honestly and as a result of author's own experience.

Debaser in Malmö is quite boring place if you are not drunk enough and if a nice band is not playing. It has two spaces, one of which is outside, so if you don't smoke, you're gonna be double bored.

The best way to shake a place like this is bringing there an epic band. So The Charlatans UK were playing and it was like a big hug from cheerful England to cold but pretty Sweden. For me it was like the best present ever, it's just the best feeling I can get - going to gigs of bands each line I do remember and like. I think the reason in this great atmospehere was not only the fact that skånska crowd is always relaxed and fairly grateful, but the fact it was actually one of the fucking best britpop bands. It's not even my generation, I thought, but I was kind of proud for loving them. I was just born at the same year when the band started.

I hate actually taking pics and videos while watching gigs, but could'n stop myself of recording this one

I do really appreciate Swedish sense of beauty and design, but believe me you don't wanna to stare at these faces while cycling pretty drunk.

You should definitely come to Malmö. It used to be a shithole.
 What so particular about this city is that just a little time ago it use to be a real dump.
Paris and London use to be shitholes in the middle of nowhere too, but that was a long time ago. Now, both are fully developed grownup cities everybody knows about, where you can have all sorts of amazing experience, except of seeing their compelling 'teenage years'.
 Malmo is still an adolescent city, with all madness, cuteness and exaggerations for good and for bad and for an amazing weird experience.
 In the following Malmo-tagged posts we would like to tell you what is so awesome about Malmo, what is terrible, and where and when is the best to come along for the proper night out in this city.

Instalation "Joys of Allergy". Museum Malmo Hus situated in an old round red building surrounded by water.

cheerful rebels

One of the last days before Distortion we saw a cheerful prosession on the station. Being dressed as a policeman with a huge eyelashes and wearing a glitter stuff on the face, we obviously thought that shoul be somebody from the festival as well. But not. These guys appeared to be just some bunch of activists trying to promote free transport for everyone... so utopic but nice

And their retro tape recorder was really touching!

some shitty pics from iphone

Powered by Pornophonique 8bit-nostalgia: gameboy meets lagerfeuer

If memory do not cheat on me, couple of years ago on last.fm, then still free of charge I came across Pornophonique  for the first time. Since I listen to their music until my brain knows every blip, my ears bleed and begging me to give it a brake.

 So I do, and not listening for their music for a little while, but set "GameOver" as a ringtone, and come back to listening to their touching tracks again. I'm listening to one at this very moment, which hinders my writing, but who cares.

 Yes, this short post will be not about Pornophonique, but my fascination by this band, their music and lyrics. This is because, dear reader can find everything I know and more about them online.

http://pornophonique.de/music.php

One day though, I'm willing to meet creators of these beautiful tracks in person, and hopefully, write about them in a more respectful place. I have some questions to ask these two.  It might turn out that both of the creators of beautiful bewitching sounds are both atrocious fearsome creatures mastering magic.
 It might also happen that they are nice people, but meeting them will render me speechless, so I will never find out more than it is available on the web. Time will show. Apart from the album, there are remixes available, I highly recommend the remix on "Space Invaders" :

http://www.konsolentuning.de/downloads/pornophonique/the_procacci_remixes/02_space_invaders_procacci-rmx.mp3
with a hint of balinese Barong Dance to it.

This post is mainly addressed to those for whom 8bit consoles like at Atari,  or a GameBoy were the early and the most personal introduction to the music. Those days, 8bit music accompanied long evenings spent with friends, magic and amazement of discovering new unseen levels.
 Since then, 8bit subtle pitches are forever connected with beauty, magic, friendship, love and all sorts of embarrassingly sentimental, dear to me memories. My apologies for the certain elitism, I suppose, if you never had an 8bit game console or were born directly into 16bit, you might as well find 8bit music as moving as I find it.
 Rock and pop music, on the other hand, came from older friends or siblings, radio, parents. It was something cool from outside world, replacing lovely but cheesy lullabies, songs from cartoons and kiddies vinyls.

To make a long story short, Pornophonique is a mixture of both, it triggers concealed parts of my soul, and leaves me helplessly daydreaming, missing my pixelised 8bit paradise lost.

 

I wish you're having a nice day.

K

We would like to call the Distortion something like... Well, perhaps, legitimized madness. And this madness lasts for several days. Certainly, we don't mean it in a bad way - it was just incredibly amazing to see all these streets filled with crowds.

Jusi imagine: the cities where we are originally from (Moscow and Saint-Petersburg) are several times bigger that not only Copenhagen, but the whole Denmark. But we have never seen anything like this before. The fact that people leave their cosy homes just to join street parties, to dance, well, just to celebrate something without a particular reason is amazing. Europe has always been represented in Russian minds as something boring, calm and regular, but I felt so sorry for my friends who were there on this night...

The only mistake  (it wasn't actually a mistake in case it accidentaly helped us just to move from street to street and meet all these self-made parties with huge retro tape recorders) we made the first day was the fact we forgot to check a map and understood a printed one completely wrong. So we were desperately searching for a gay bar called Cosy. We just wanted some techno beats, but found only J.Lo playing there. With this funny feeling we left this place for Soup kitchen where found a really cool party.

When you are on the festival somewhere outside the city everything crazy going on seems to be normal, but this one didn't feel like it was something out of context... People were sitting on the open windows. One guy was calling somebody from the top of a road sign. But it was so normal. So we just broke up all these thoughts like "omg are they going to be able to clean everything until tomorrow???" with "fuck it. it's just amazing".

Let's see what is going to happen today.

L

Confusion with The Zombie Crawl

The first thing which caught our attention was a group of joyful young men covered with blood, queuing up infront of an ATM.

We advanced towards a dancefloor through the slightly bewildered, but festive atmosphere.
Seldom men and women with signs of decomposition or on their body or bloodstains on their clothes were able to be seen.

 The moment we approached a soundsystem, door behind it opened and let out a cavalcade of the zombies whom quickly outnumbered general distortion public.

Copenhagen Zombie Crawl is an event distinct from the Distortion Festival.

Danish school teacher whom we met in Kongens park, was kind to inform us about http://www.copenhagenzombiecrawl.dk/ -  a contemporary copenhagen tradition that everyone can participate on the 1st of June.

If you will be here for the next Distortion, check the Zombie Crawl out as well. It is a worthy pageant to start the Distortion.